Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow

What a joy it was to wake up Saturday morning to 3 inches of snow!  I successfully snuck out of the house to the gym before anyone woke up and by the time I returned, all of our bins downstairs had been turned upside down looking for the snow gear.  The kids were just about dressed and anxiously awaiting the okay to get out and play.  Luckily we only needed a pair of boots for Kate so by 10:30 we were out in the snow and by 11:00, our 1st-ever Mardis Family Snowman had been built.  Christmas memories are one thing but mornings like this are the BEST.  Pure childhood joy.

It is also moments like this that make me so, so, so very thankful for Ryan.  He is truly the best dad ever  (yes, I am biased but he is really good) and our kids will get so much more out of life because he is their dad.  He takes such joy in these moments, making sure the kids get to experience everything they should at their age.  As we were wrapping up our fun in the snow, he started throwing snowballs into the air and having them land on his head.  I wish I had the sound of the kids laughter bottled up as there is no better sound.  The last few pictures are from that moment and I think we can all agree that Jake was one happy little boy.

Here are a few (or maybe a ton) pictures of our fun.  Jake was a little hesitant at 1st but quickly warmed up to the fun.  Please, please, please Mother Nature, let it snow again.

Holiday Happenings

This Christmas marked our 8th holiday as a married couple, our 7th as parents to Kate and our 3rd as parents to Jake.  To say that we are blessed is an understatement.  Every night as I say my prayers, I give thanks for all of my wonderful blessings, especially my family.  We are a strong unit of 4 and I am proud of the new traditions we are starting as our small family unit.  It is times like this that make you so thankful for just being together and experiencing the holiday season through the eyes of your own children.

As the year comes to a close and after so many quite days at home with the family, I feel a strong sense of contentment.  I am happy, challenged, and aware of just how lucky I am.  As I look through our compilation of pictures, I am taking time to process our new memories.  I love this time of reflection and hope for another great year.

The weekend before Christmas was full of celebration with all of our extended family, freeing up time for just the 4 of us on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.  We relaxed, made yummy meals and stayed in our pj's for most of the 48 hour period; just what we all needed.  Despite Kate battling strep throat, the holidays went off without a hitch.  She was down and out on the 22nd and 23rd, missing a few of the family celebrations but was back to her old self by the 24th.  Here is a compilation of all that we did over the past few weeks.

Jake's Christmas program kicked off our holiday celebrations.  We expected there to be a few tears and he did not disappoint.  Actually, much to our surprise, he walked out on stage with his class with a small little smile on his face and then as daddy yelled out "Mardis", he found him in the crowd and immediately started to cry, wanting to jump off the stage and run right to his favorite person in the world.  The tears didn't last too long but as you can see below, he didn't care much to participate.  Oh well, maybe next year.

We celebrated with our families, cherishing the chaos every step of the way.

 We made so extra cookies for Santa - and maybe ate 1 or 2.  Along with a glass of chocolate milk, Santa ate every cookie and the reindeer polished off all their carrots.

 We enjoyed Santa's visit, complete with a personal letter to Kate and Jake.

 We are rested, spoiled, and ready for 2013!!!  I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday and wish nothing but the best for next year.

A day in the life of Steve

With today being Steve's last day with us for about 335 days, I thought I would share of few of his silliest adventures while visiting our home this holiday season.  It turns out that Steve didn't change much over the past year.  He is still creative, silly, and sometimes just plain messy and I am still fascinated at how much joy he can bring our children.  He watched over our home and provided a pretty good threat that Santa is watching.  Jake was a little more friendly with Steve this year, adding a little more fun to the action.  Thank you Steve for provided some wonderful holiday cheer and for not pooping in the toilet this year!

Holiday Cheer Amongst Tremendous Sadness

On Friday, December 14th, our world forever changed.  In all reality the changed started many years ago in CO, it is just that the tragedy in Newtown, CT hit home more than any other tragic event in the past 36+ years.  The loss of my grandparents was devastating and they were taken far sooner than expected, but they lived a full life.  9/11 shook the U.S. to the core and it hit home because it resulted in a tour at war but selfishly I survived and gained a new perspective on life.  But this time...this time they were just kids.  They were Kate; 6 year olds in a corner of a classroom, showing more strength than we will ever know.  6 year olds, who just hours before sought out to find a silly little elf and whose parents likely had a stash of gifts waiting to be wrapped.  It is just unimaginable.  And sad.

I sat down to update the blog on Saturday morning and just sat there and cried, staring at our December pictures thinking, "what if...what if these pictures were the only thing I had of Ryan, Kate, and/or Jake; pictures?"

Then Sunday came and they released the pictures of the 26 victims and I have been a basket case ever since.  How did the parents or the children of the victims choose the 1 picture that will forever be an image of 12/14?  How could I do that if I was faced with the same challenge?  I want to shout, "IT'S NOT FAIR" but I know that won't change what happened.  I want to keep my children in the safety of our own home 24 hours a day, but I know that is not reality.  So instead, I have held our hugs for an extra 15 seconds, I have continued to pray to God to "give us strength no matter the circumstance", I have jumped at the opportunity to tuck Jake in one more time even though I know he needs to cry it out, and most of all, I have been more present during our daily activities.

What I have learned through Newtown is that I am not sure how I would handle such loss and in reality, I am okay with that.  I can't live my life wondering or planning for the "what if".  Tragedy is not something you can prepare for so in place of preparation, I am going to try and just live.  Suck in all that life provides - the happiness, the tears, the pride, and yes, the tragedy.  And most of all, I will continue to pray for strength as that is truly what we need to get through this sometimes harsh reality.

I have been blessed to be home the past 5 weeks.  Despite it adding some additional stress around the holidays, it has been rewarding beyond belief.  I love nothing more that providing a healthy dinner for my family and I have provided that most nights (yes, we have still eaten Chick-fil-A once or twice because let's face it, the reality of sharing 1 car for 38 days now is brutal...brutal I tell you!!!).  I love the feeling of being connected with the kids teachers and I have been far more present at each of their schools, even venturing out on a field trip with Kate this week.  I love our family time each night and I have been present, not just there, during this time.  I love to exercise and I am happy to say I have averaged 6 days/week over the past 5 weeks.  Needless to say, I feel that as a family, we have turned the obstacle of being unemployed 6 weeks before Christmas into an opportunity.  If there is one thing I could teach my children it is to always look at obstacles as opportunity, it will get you pretty darn far in life.

My time exercising has been rejuvenating to my mind, allowing me time to soul search and figure out my next career steps.  Not that I have it all figured out but I do know that I am tremendously burned out mentally, which allowed for more of an open mind during the job search process.  Luckily, I was presented with several different opportunities, a few being the same type of management work I was doing before and one back in sales, which would allow for greater flexibility while going back to school.  I am happy to say that I was offered the sales position last Friday and accepted a start date of 1/2/13.  YAY!  Re-employment is a good thing for me as I take a lot of pride in the work that I do each day.

Here is a recap of a few of our favorite outings these past few weeks.  I will strive to move forward and promise to keep each and every family member of the victims in Newtown in my prayers.

Santa - class picture that will likely go down as one of my favorites of all time.  It captures the dynamic of each kid - Kate poised and smiling and Jake, a total train-wreck, whom was fine within 30 seconds of getting off that stool.

A trip to the Indianapolis Children's Museum, which is incredible.  The kids loved it and we enjoyed the time with our dear friends Gus, Erika, and Owen Miller.  We are also happy to now know that Owen is going to be a big brother this April to a sweet baby girl.  Now, if Santa could just bring Jake a merry-go-round because I am not sure if he has ever been happier.

Unemployment has resulted in a little bit of craftiness on my part!!!  Carrot cake cupcakes for the Norton teacher's holiday luncheon, BBQ rub as part of my gifts, and lots and lots of cookies.

I will post more pictures soon.  I promise to track a few of Steve's (our elf) latest moves as well as the festivities of the Christmas weekend.